Past Returns
by Rellik 01011993
Summary: Brian stayed with the Toretto crew after that last truck jacking over 12 months ago, but still hasn't told them much about his past. When Rome shows up it prompts some much needed conversations among Brian's new family. (Past Abused!Brian. Jesse lived and no one went on the run)(Reviews are always very welcome and much appreciated)


The team was sitting around the garage eating lunch and shooting the shit, naturally it didn't take long until Vince had Brian in a headlock. Before anyone realised there was a stranger in the garage, he had Vince pinned to a wall by the throat.

When Brian first showed up and Vince thought he was after Mia, he'd given the blond a few thorough beatings, until the whole crew was there one day and Jesse blurted out the Brian was _b-e-a-utiful_. Brian's sincere response "Have you looked in a mirror lately kid? You're not so bad yourself." Had taken the wind right out of Vince's sails.

The longer Brian had been around, the more they realised he didn't act on his attraction to either gender, and that he wasn't keen on physical contact. Although the fights with Vince had never bothered him and if someone brushed passed him it didn't worry him.

"Seriously Roman? Get off him! We were just stuffing around you idiot!" Brian snarled as soon as he realised who had Vince pinned.

The guy glanced between Vince's annoyed scowl and Brian's fury and released Vince. He remembered juvie well enough, remembered what Brian did to those who hurt _his_ people. He stepped back from the tattooed brunette, raising his hands in a show of peace toward Brian. The blond gave a curt nod, happy enough that Rome had released Vince.

"Now, how the fuck did you find me?" he leant back against a wall, seemingly as calm as could be, only the Toretto crew could see he was on edge. He'd been through far too much since Rome last saw him for the man to know any of his tells anymore.

Rome shrugged, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot. "It was easy bro. Called the academy I knew you went to, they told me you graduated directly to Miami. Miami said you transferred to LAPD. LAPD wouldn't tell me shit, but it was easy enough to find you through word on the street…"

Brian scrubbed his hands back and forth through his hair before punching the wall he was leaning against, making everyone wince at the power he put behind it. "Fuck!" Mia winced when she heard the crunch, certain that she'd be checking over at least a couple of broken knuckles later.

Rome watched curiously as the big bald guy stepped up to Brian. No one had ever stepped closer to the blond when he was like this, in fact most of them had edged away nervously. "Brian? What's wrong? We'll figure it out, like we always do brother, just talk to us." He encouraged, watching Brian intently.

Brian stared silently at Dom for a moment before answering. "I took down a drug dealer in Miami, Verone, and Braga ran everything from drugs to smuggling people, he was an LA assignment. Not to mention all of the small fish who have a nasty bite when they're feeling pissy, which they usually do when you send them away. And as soon as word gets out that there was a UC on a case, they tend to look out for any leaks. If they know the name to ask for…"

Jesse wrapped his arms around himself, leaning against Leon as his face went pale. It had been bad enough when Brian put himself in danger to try to keep them all safe when the truck jacking thing came to a head, but _drug dealers and cartel guys_? He wasn't sure how they'd keep Brian safe.

Brian grimaced before pulling his phone out and dialling a number from memory, he didn't have to wait long for an answer. _"Hey Tanner, it's Brian…look, I know you weren't happy when I resigned but…thought you might like a heads up that the academy I graduated from and MPD have been handing my info out a little too easy."_ He paused for a moment to listen to the other man. _"Yeah, I'm probably being paranoid but I don't think it'll be long before Verone and Braga's people start coming out of the woodwork."_ Another pause to listen to his old boss. _"Thanks man, I'll let you know if we notice anything weird."_ He hung up the phone and threw an encouraging smile in Jesse's direction. The kid was practically buzzing with curiosity but Brian had learnt from experience that he wouldn't ask unless Brian gave him an opening.

"How do you know him?" Jesse asked, tilting his head in Rome's direction. Other than the people he had worked with when he was a cop, Brian didn't seem to have a life outside of the Toretto crew, which threw them all off. They'd never understood how he could have had nothing before them. He'd seemed to exist purely for work before he came to them and they couldn't imagine it, so any chance of getting a peak into his past was important.

"We're brothers-" Rome answered at the same time as Brian.

"We were friends." Brian answered calmly.

Jesse glanced between the two in confusion, they seemed to have two very differing ideas on how close they were. Rome looked surprised by Brian's answer but slowly started to nod. "Alright cuz, I deserve that. Let you down in the worst way, especially considering the things I knew about the past… I don't expect you to ever forget what I did but I am here to try to make it up to you if you'll let me."

Brian stared for so long at the man he'd once called 'brother' that Rome started to fidget. "I'll think about it. In the meantime, you stay away from the team. That includes the house, the garage, the diner, Harry's and the races. You see them somewhere, you turn around and go the other way." He waited until Rome gave an unwilling nod. Brian remembered how Rome could be he was curious or jealous, and he didn't want any of that near his family. "Give me your phone and I'll call mine so you have my number."

Rome tossed him the phone, knowing better than to get within reach of Brian while he had that rage burning in his eyes. As soon as Brian tossed it back to the man he turned back to his lunch, clearly done with the conversation. The team watched Rome stare sadly at the blond for a moment before shaking himself out of it and leaving.

They wanted to ask who Rome was, what he'd done to earn such an unwelcome response, but they'd all learned to give Brian his space when his mood was off. He'd talk to them when he was ready; when the shock had worn off and he had his emotions under control. Brian didn't _do_ emotional chats. For a man who could talk for hours on end, he never really said much personal stuff at all.

XXX

By closing time they could see Brian was still tense and angry, fuming. "All right, you still riled up about this Roman who showed up out of nowhere, or is it the cops telling strangers about you?" Vince prodded once the doors were closed and outsiders wouldn't overhear.

Brian blinked at the man. "Rome got busted for stolen merchandise while I was at the academy. Thought I had something to do with it. Told me to stay the hell out of Barstow or he'd have someone give me the beating of my life…" he cringed slightly. "Wouldn't have been so bad if we hadn't been to juvie a few times together, if he hadn't seen what my home life was like. I only joined the force because it was either that or I'd end up dead on the street or locked up for life."

"You're angry cos he should have known better than to think you'd turn him over to the cops?" Vince asked, not sure just what point Brian was trying to make.

Brian shrugged, letting himself fall into one of the car seats they had lying around as couches. "That's part of it. We did some crazy shit when we ran together, I did months of juvie time for him once because the cops thought when they caught us it'd been my idea. I didn't correct them. Then he thinks I'd turn around and rat him out? For what? A pat on the head from people I didn't even like? Didn't even _respect_? I joined the force for a pay-cheque and a roof over my head." He glanced back to Vince, shaking his head. "But nah, that's not the main thing that still hurts… He…he knew about how I'd been raised. Why I preferred a stint in juvie to time at home. When his family couldn't afford to feed the two of us, I'd go off and get caught doing something minor, on purpose, so I could get a short stint. And he threatens me with the _worst beating of my life_? That shot was well below the belt and he knew it. Judging by the sneer he was wearing when he said it, he did it on purpose."

Jesse sat down beside Brian. "Brian?" he asked uncertainly, not wanting to voice what he was thinking Brian was hinting at, not wanting to put it into words and make it real.

Brian smiled apologetically at Jesse, always loath to dim the kid's world view in any way, before he slowly leant forward and took his shirt off. It had been twelve months since that last truck jacking where Vince almost died, and none of them had ever seen him without his shirt. They had all assumed he was being modest or something. They could see now that wasn't the case. He was preventing questions he wasn't ready to answer.

"At least twice from when we met at seven and stopped talking at eighteen Rome stole a car to drive me to the ER because he thought I was gonna die. So when he threatened me with my worst beating…that's a hell of a threat, not to mention all the memories he dragged up and tied to that last conversation…"

"Okay brother, so the rage is totally deserved. You do whatever you gotta do about him, we'll back you either way." Leon said quietly.

Brian nodded his thanks to Leon and went to pull his shirt back on when Jesse yelped in horror. "Jesus Brian, is that an _electrical burn_?" he leant closer to get a better look. Brian dropped his shirt back into his lap, clearly Jesse wasn't done inspecting yet.

"Yeah man, they had this thing they rigged up…enough to burn but not enough to kill me if they didn't leave it on too long."

Dom stepped closer so he could take a proper look, now that he could see Brian was open to discussing his scars. "This one looks like it was bad." He murmured, staring at a scar on the back of Brian's shoulder and trying to figure out what the hell had happened.

"Hmm? Which one?" Brian asked curiously, waiting for Dom to touch it with a hesitant finger to know which one he was talking about. "Oh, yeah…I um…pissed this one guy off and he threw me down a flight of stairs after he gave me a hiding. Dragged me through the house so it was the set of fifteen or so instead of three stairs at the front. And that was where he kept his empty beer bottles…it got mad infected, almost died."

"One guy?" Vince asked, curious that Brian hadn't said 'dad' or 'the bastard' – it sounded like Brian had dealt with more than one abuser.

"Yeah…dad split either before or soon after I was born. Mum wasn't keen on being alone. Revolving front door, all but. Boyfriends or one-night-stands, she didn't seem to care, as long as someone was around. The one nighters were mostly better for me, weren't there long enough to think they could get away with laying a hand on the kid."

"Damn man, is this why you're…so twitchy around people?" Letty asked, hoping he was feeling open enough that the question wouldn't make him shut down. But they had all been wondering about certain things since he'd outed himself as a cop, since he'd stopped being _Brian Earle Spilner_ and let them see Brian O'Connor. He could hide his ticks and twitches well when he was undercover, but he'd apparently made the choice to let them see _him_ , which they all appreciated.

Ice blue eyes stared at her for a moment until a small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Some of it, and juvie helped. Undercover work did what they didn't finish." He could feel the curiosity around him and sighed, leaning back in the car seat. "I was nineteen when I graduated from the academy, and they were keen. A kid with a juvie record who was a cop? No one would think I was a pig at nineteen, especially not the way I'd been raised. I couldn't come across as a cop even when I _tried_. I had a crash course in UC work and they threw me in." he grimaced, thinking of all the things he'd seen that first case. "That first one wasn't too bad, not for my safety anyway, neither was the second. Third one…" he screwed his eyes shut trying to keep from seeing the images in his head.

"You don't have to tell us Bri, if you don't want to you don't have to." Dom murmured from beside him and Brian realised Dom had fell onto his haunches so he could offer some kind of comfort without being overbearing, trying to make himself less threatening.

Brian shook his head, curls wriggling. "Nah man, I been meaning to tell you all it's just…not something you bring up in the middle of normal conversation, right?" he smiled a little. "Rome found out I was a _trainee_ cop and cut me off, I been waiting over a year for the other shoe to drop with you guys but it hasn't happened. I need to tell you all this otherwise I'll always be waiting. Waiting for when I say the wrong thing about the past, or react wrong because of it, and you all cut me out."

"Do you wanna go home to tell us the rest, or do it here?" Jesse offered quietly, dreading what Brian had to say and hating the pain and panic on Brian's face. He looked up to the man, and couldn't believe how patient Brian was with him when he was on one of his excited spiels about a car or something. He didn't like that Brian had been through anything bad in the past, and hated it even more that he had to go over it all again so that they could understand him. He just wanted his brother to be as comfortable as the situation would allow.

Brian shook his head. "Not much more of the bad shit, might as well get it out of the way now, and then you guys can ask questions anytime, once I get the bad stuff done. Yeah?" he glanced around at everyone, at his family, to make sure they were ok with it. He may hate reliving it, but he knew they'd hate hearing it as well. Everyone gave him a small nod, supporting him. "So, third case…I missed three, maybe four check-ins with my handler. He was raging about how they needed to bust in and find me, but the brass wanted to hold back. The case was important, they didn't want to blow my cover for no reason." He let out a shuddering sigh. "One more check-in and he went off without clearance, convinced some of his friends in the precinct to come as unofficial backup."

"It was bad, wasn't it?" Mia asked through the tears, clinging to Vince in an attempt to keep herself from wrapping Brian into a hug. They all knew he was wary of physical contact, unless it was in passing or in a fight, and all were careful of respecting that. Just because hugs and kisses were important shows of affection for them, ways they felt loved, didn't mean they meant the same thing to Brian.

Brian nodded, eyes closed. "Yeah…yeah, it was bad. There'd been a leak in the case and my cover was blown. They found me in a warehouse, strung out on heroine. Three weeks into a solid binge. I was somehow still sitting on enough evidence for them to nail the bastards, not that I know how I got half of it, can't remember."

"Oh fuck Buster." Vince grimaced. He'd known since a few months after Brian blew his cover, since he stopped being Brian _Spilner_ , that the guy's life hadn't been easy, but he'd never guessed anything close to this.

"I _do_ remember why I let them give me that first dose though." He shuddered. "Don't want to know what else happened for those three weeks. Tanner found my prints in some places they shouldn't have been, but since I hadn't killed anyone, and I'd gotten addicted while undercover, he managed to get that scrubbed off my record. Not to mention the brass didn't want to have to explain why a UC officer was three weeks into a heroin addiction before someone went looking for him, without authorisation." He rubbed a hand over his face, as if he was scrubbed the memories away, rolled his shoulders and stood up. "Took me a long while to get clean, but Tanner kept an eye on me and helped as best I'd let him. But even now, it's always there, itching in the back of my head."

"Wait…Tanner as in… _Tanner_?" Mia asked curiously.

Brian nodded, offering the first happy smile they'd seen since before Rome showed up. "Yeah, he ah, he kind of adopted me after that. When I put in for transfer from Miami to LA, he did too. Whenever Miami leant me to another precinct, he'd come with. Refused to let anyone else be my handler. That's why he was so pissy to start with when I quit to work here, he was worried I'd been sucked into the life of my cover again. Once he saw that I'd actually _gotten a life_ he was ok with it. Happy that I had more family than just him."

"That's why he comes by the store asking about you? He's just checking in?" Mia asked with a happy smile, glad that he hadn't been trying to make life _more_ difficult for Brian like she had thought for so long. Brian always took him outside to chat, never around the team. He liked to keep cops as far away from his family as he could, apparently even those he trusted.

Brian nodded slowly. "Yeah, I should go see him but his hours are hectic and I don't wanna go to the station…" he grimaced. "He might be okay with me being with you guys, but the others don't know anything much about my past. If I walk into the station I'm likely to cop a beating, whether Tanner's there or not."

Dom stared thoughtfully at the blond for a moment from where he was still resting on his haunches before Brian. "If you want him there, if you'd be comfortable, he's welcome at Sunday barbecues." When Brian stared wide eyed in response Dom smile at him. "He's important to you, I don't want you losing any more because of us than you have to. Other than the racing, that I'm assuming he knows about, our noses are clean these days. He's welcome, Brian, if you want him there."

Brian glanced around at everyone else, shocked to find them nodding in agreement. "But…but he's a _cop_. You guys hate cops."

Vince chuckled. "We hate cops cos they're always trying to bust up our fun, Buster, and we hated them before because if they'd sniffed around too much we'd have been in the shit. I haven't seen Tanner busting up any races and, like Dom said, our noses are otherwise clean these days."

"And if you decide Rome gets a second chance, and you want him around, he'll be welcome too." Dom murmured, just to be sure Brian understood that. He didn't want him keeping people away from them because he thought he should. "If you do bring him around, we'll be having words about how he treats you, but he'll be welcome on your word."

Brian nodded jerkily in response, to show he'd heard and understood. "Alright, that's enough heavy stuff for now. Lets go home." Mia interjected softly, returning Brian's thankful smile with a warm one of her own.

XXX

They were half way through dinner when Jesse dropped his fork, staring at Brian in understanding. "We all thought you were the golden kid when you came in, even after you blew your cover. Thought your life had been breezy." He shook his head, staring at Brian in wonder. "But you had it worse than all of our lives combined before you were even sixteen."

Brian smiled at Jesse, slowly pulling him into a sideways one armed hug. He may not like the contact, but Jesse thrived on physical comfort, and he'd always made sure not to withhold anything Jesse might need. "Don't think on it too much Jess, it'll just freak you out. I got you guys now, so it's all gravy."

"Is it why you won't live here with us? Cos you don't feel safe?" Jesse asked quietly, making everyone else at the table tense at the thought. It hadn't occurred to them yet, but Jesse's mind had been leaping ahead since Brian had explained at the garage. He was making connections now like he did when he was working cars.

Brian shook his head. "Nah man, _I_ would be fine with sleeping here, but you guys…not so much." He ruffled Jesse's hair before pulling back to continue eating his dinner. He knew once it sunk it, his statement would prompt more questions.

"Why wouldn't we be fine with you sleeping here Bri?" Dom asked, brows furrowed. He had been sure that he'd made Brian _feel_ as welcome as he actually was. Was sure he'd made the blond understand just how much a part of the family he was. Despite the fact he had always insisted on driving home after whatever they'd been up to, not matter how late.

"I don't exactly sleep _quiet_ anymore." Brian murmured, loath to admit he had something as childish as nightmares that woke him screaming. "Somehow I always got single accommodations when I was undercover, never had to stay with anyone that I was investigating. That's the only reason it was never an issue with work." He scowled down at his dinner. "I'm pretty sure Tanner knows about it, he let me crash on his couch often enough when I was trying to get clean, but he was nice enough to never _confirm_ that he knew. Let me pretend it didn't happen."

Vince leant his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his fisted hands. "There's a spare bedroom down in the basement. Shut your bedroom door and the basement door, the only one you'll wake up is me." He offered seriously.

"You don't have to do that man, I'm ok living in the unit. I'm around here often enough that I don't miss out on much." Brian reassured, hating the idea of waking _anyone_ up.

"You haven't had Mia's pancakes, or Dom's fry-ups." Vince replied quickly. "Just think about it, alright?"

Brian nodded his head immediately, he already knew the answer but he could pretend like he'd actually consider it. He may have told them the outline of his life before them, but he hadn't gone into specifics. If any of them heard his nightmares he'd have to give them details. And he didn't want to make them carry that knowledge around in their heads. Bad enough it was in his.


End file.
